So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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