I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
And then my night got REAL pukey
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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