you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Come share oat with me in your robe
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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