I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
