New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
