I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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