mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
All the doctor said was why