Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
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LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
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Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.