Sponge bath it is.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
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HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
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Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires