dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo