he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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