Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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