I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
