I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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