nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
he fucked my hip out of place.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
