I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
