I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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