Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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