I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
