My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Well I just put wine in my tea
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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