I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
how do flat chested girls get laid?
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Randomize