He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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