ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
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