just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
how do flat chested girls get laid?
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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