How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
