In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
