why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize