I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
