You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
