Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
