we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
