What did we do last night that was yellow?
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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