They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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