on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
