I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
