It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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