so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize