Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
