The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Randomize
