No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
