She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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