she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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