Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize