So drunk, too bad you don't want this
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
