Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I just threw up on my dentist
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Randomize
