went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
