he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
There r osticjed everywhere
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
