oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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