I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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