Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
my shit smells like andre
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
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