i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I touched a dick in church today
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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