My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
