Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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