dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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