haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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