Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
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