This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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