I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
