Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Randomize