Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Randomize
