I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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