I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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