so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
