Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
