yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
