Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Randomize
