hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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