I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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