So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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