This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
time to smoke my breakfast
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
