Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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